The Curse of Man-pleasing

I have been living a painful life for some time, now. Yes, there have been moments of joy and happiness; however, there has been an overall lack of fulfillment. And, the other day, I believe I discovered the cause of my walking-deadness.

There's a common knowledge that it is better to give than to receive. That it's good to treat people at least as good, if not better, than we treat ourselves. While these teachings are true, there is a danger in giving one's self over to them without proper discernment.

If I look back on where my life started to spiral downward, it is when I decided I no longer wanted to be a radical outcast.
When a person is sold out to their dream - to what they know their life was made for - they don't fit in with most people. The average person, though good and decent, doesn't know how to relate or understand the dreamer. Because the dreamer is different - unrelatible - they are cast out of the everydayness of life.
Sure the dreamer is looked up to, and is often asked for leadership and guidance; but, the exaltation of the dreamer by the average person leaves the dreamer on the outside. In fact, the average person begins to resent the dreamer because the words actions and even presence of the dreamer cause the average to self-evaluate.... the average person begins to notice what is lacking in their own lives. Though, the dreamer doesn't condemn, there is a conviction in the heart of the average whenever the dreamer is around, and erroneously equate the dreamer with causing a feeling of lack... of a deadness in the heart.
So, the average pull away from the dreamer, leaving the dreamer to walk their life alone.
I no longer wanted to walk alone....

But, the dreamer cannot live a mediocre life. As much as I try to cover the dreamer in me with a blanket of average, that inner man screams out. It's easy to muffle at first; but, the dreamer is resourceful. He will not rest until his dream is realized. And so, I have been living with an inner turmoil that is becoming unbearable.
What's more, is it's not just the dreamer within who's calling to be freed. He's enlisted the help of his Best Friend. The Voice from Heaven is inescapable. He not only speaks to me, but he sends others to encourage me to free the dreamer inside me. Friends, acquaintances, complete strangers - He brings them all to me to speak to and give strength to the dreamer inside. He will not be silenced.

Though, the spirit of the average tries and struggles to stay in command, my heart is convincing me that it's better to live true to myself than to fit in with others. Trying to fit in doesn't work, anyway. Being average has such a foul taste, that I, myself, have become bitter. There is no winning being average. Only the dreamer can succeed.

And so, I focus on the call of God:

"Awaken, you Dreamer! Your time of slumber has ended. I am calling you to renew your journey unto greatness. You are indeed blessed - you have a gift... a gift that needs to be shared. I will not allow My gift to you to go unused. I have blessed you to be a blessing to the world. Allow yourself to be Free, so that you can bring Freedom to the captives. YOU ARE NOT AVERAGE! Nobody was made to be average! So, cast off that blanket, and sore like an eagle - rise up and sore like you were destined to.

"Live, O Dreamer! Live!"

O Lord, will You rise up inside of me? Let me feel the touch of Your Grace. Lift me up in Your Hand. Rise me up to the heavens. Open the eyes of my heart, so that I may follow You... so that I may be like you! Your Grace is sufficient!