Am I going to Heaven?

I've been thinking about the "Freedom" offered by the traditional Christian Church. For the most part, I don't think the Christian religion offers "Freedom" in the sense that I understand it to be - it just offers a bigger cage than normal life. The reason I say this is that I don't believe anyone really understands the True teachings of Jesus - I don't even think Paul (writer of the majority of the Bible's New Testament) totally grasped what Jesus spoke about.
Which brings me to the question of the hour... am I going to Heaven when I die? Are the people I share my beliefs going to Heaven? Are the people who don't share them? Well, according to most in the traditional Christian church - who seem to be the interpreters of the Bible who determine who goes to Heaven or not - I'm safe; however, God's going to be disappointed with me should I head up there now. From what I've heard, He'll look at me and say how disappointed He is in me for what I've done with my life over the last year or so; but, since I believe in His Son, He has to let me in.

I've never been able to grasp the idea of 'disappointing' God, or letting Him down, or making Him angry. He's God. Why should what I do affect Him in any way. That's not to say I think He doesn't care. I believe His One Joy is to reveal Himself to us... to show us how great we can be... to lead us into His Glory. It's been my experience that should we 'miss the mark' with Him, He just offers us the same opportunity time and again, until we get it 'right'. We exist - His design - for the evolution of our souls... for us to attain the greatness of Christ. That's why He gave His Spirit to us. That's why He's continually talking to us in that still, small voice - and, He speaks to everyone! All we have to do is listen.

So, is this attentive ear the key to the Pearly Gates? Who knows?