Solomon

I was just talking to a friend of mine who is having trouble reconciling what seems like two very different lives, and asked me how I do it. I guess you could say I don't lead the typical Christian life, and have become quite liberal in how I view 'right' and 'wrong'. It's not that I don't believe in sin; the fact is, I believe a whole lot more in Grace. I see myself as using this season in my life to figure things out.
I think I might be going through what Solomon might have gone through. He was said to be the wisest man ever; and, he got wise by experiencing life. "Wisdom is better than gold, and understanding than silver," is what he once wrote to his son.

Now, I know someone's going to come along and say, "But, look what happened to Solomon - he was lead astray by his wives!" Ahhh... but, I'm not married! ;-)
You know, I've thought about this a lot. Am I playing with my own Salvation? Is there a chance that I'll be lost forever? I think if there is, it's very slight. I do believe that eventually, my heart will win out, and I'll know for sure what Truth is.

I think the reason I live the way I do, is because I detest religion. I don't want to have an image of the Truth - I want the real thing.. the Whole Truth. What I've seen religion do - even in my own life - is put up a curtain that looks good, all the while, behind the curtain there is torment. Religion is a trap - it's blinded "God's People" from the Messiah for 2000 yrs.
I would rather have a dissonance in my lifestyle for a season, trying to work out this Life, than to live a life behind a veil, or in a shadow. I've tasted Salvation, I will never run from it. I hear the Lord's voice, and am sure that if I do get too close to the fires of hell, He'll speak up. Not a day goes by that I don't stop and listen to that Still, Small Voice (be it in prayer or in Word).
I see 'improvement', too. I can tell that when I resist sin, it's not b/c I have to fight in my own strength; but, I can feel the strength of the Spirit w/in me rising up, girding up my own spirit to resist the desires of the flesh.
Do I 'win' every time? Not yet. Some would say that I fail miserably every time - but they don't see me every time. It's like it says in 7 Habits - the personal victories come before the public victories.

But, I remember one of the first things I ever asked of the Lord. I asked for the gift of Wisdom. I believe He is honoring my request. I believe that He is leading me, even though I am prone to wander from His guidance every once in a while. I believe I am getting closer to the Goal - to Christ. I believe He is leading me in the way of Solomon.