Figs & the 3 Year Theory
I had an interesting epiphany this morning. While I sleep, I quite frequently play some music, or something - it seems to help me somehow b/c when I don't play anything, I don't sleep well. Anyway, lately, I've been listening to a reading of the Gospel of Luke; and, this morning, I woke up listening to Chapter 13....
A while ago, one of my roommates and I were talking about relationships - how many of our friends have gotten married, and we were both recently single again after 3 year dating relationships. He shared about the 3 year theory - how it take 3 years to really get to know someone. Unfortunately, or fortunately, our relationships ended after 3 years. We then pondered how our friends would fair, as most of them - who are now married - didn't even know their now-wives as long as we were dating... they're stuck together! Maybe that's a good thing - they're still working on their relationships!!
**Please note, I don't despise that relationship, nor do I think my friends are fools for marrying when they did**
Ok, back to the parable in the Gospel of Luke....
There's this guy - he's like the Owner of a Garden - who has a fig tree that hasn't born fruit for 3 years; so, He decides it's time to chop it down. But, His servant says, "Let me tend to it for one more year - I'll water it and cultivate the soil around it. After that year, then decide if You want to chop it down."
So, should we modify that 3 year theory to a 3yrs + 1? Actually, I think the whole point of that parable is that things aren't necessarily done when we think they are - there's always a chance for redemption. But, ultimately, it's the Gardener's decision when to cut a tree down or not.
Most of us would be inclined to think that God is the One who'll do the chopping; but, I don't think that's the case. He gave the Garden of Eden to Adam - we are the Gardeners... we decide what stays and what goes in the Garden of our Lives. And, I think the Servant - the one who always says, "Don't kill it quite yet, give Me a chance to make it grow," is the Spirit. He's the Redeemer, the One who is able to make Fruit bear on a seemingly void Tree.
There's more I want to say, but I'm typing this intermittently at work... I'll wait 'til I can sink in a good hour or so of thought and typing.
Be blessed, all!
posted by J Man @ 1:43 p.m.
5 People have something to say about this
5 Comments:
I honestly think that three years is too long to not be sure if you want to be with someone. I can understand taking three years or more if you started out in high school, but after that...it just seems to me that at some point you have to decide to go for it or not. But this goes into the motivation to dating in the first place...is it for fun or to find a significant other for life? For fun...take as long as you like. To find another person...well, my personal take is that three years is too long.
Mystery Person, I think you have a very valid point. Perhaps what happened with my relationship, and the relationship of my roomie, is that we just waited too long. Perhaps there is a breaking point, sometime within those 3 years, where we need to bind together to remain strong, or cut loose b/c adversity overtakes us.
These days, I feel certain that the relationship I have with my wife - should I find such a beauty - will be less than 3 years before we wed.
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You know, after these comments, I had to go re-read what I had written b/c these are some of the most serious comments that have been left on my site in a long time.
I guess I went a little far w. the 3 yr theory. It was meant to be a fairly light-hearted blog. I apologise for the offensive marriage comments I made.
The main point I was trying to make is summarised in the last paragraph about how we have to ultimately decide when to cut something out of our lives, and how, if we let the Spirit guide us, many things that we do destroy could actually last and flourish.
ok j...i get your 3 year theory...we dated for 1 then realized we wanted more...so engaged for 2..to really get to see each other in many lights..will be married in our 3rd year...i do think it takes time to really know yourself and who you want to be with.. i think we rush things when we don't take time to see the "fit" with our "other" as time goes on...before the vows are spoken. Yes we change and grow and hopefully together not apart.........and who really knows anyone anyhow...all we can do is look closely at who we are..and ask "can I be me always in the presence of this chosen person?" with respect, love, acceptance and support...then wow it is an awesome relationship..and visa versa..can I let him be he with love respect, acceptance and support..then I think two can grow mutually and together with out risk of judgement,+ disappointment. But as your one commentor said..the important thing is to look inside..know you first then you can know who you want to be with......p.s. love from a BRIDE TO BE!!
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