It really is New Year

I've had some interesting thoughts over the last couple of days. This weekend I watched one of the best concerts I've ever seen - it's the Hell Freezes Over tour for the Eagles. And, the one song that hit me the most was "Heart Of The Matter" - "I think it's about forgiveness".... Check out the Comments section for the lyrics to this song.
Then last night, I had a great discussion with a good friend of mine. Well, it was more of a venting. He probed some of the deeper places of my soul, and forced me to really look at where I've come from and where I'm at. Oh, God am I a hurting mess.

Through both this song, and conversation, I realized one great thing - I still place some responsibility for where my life is on my last girlfriend. However, in speaking some things out, and actually realizing that I feel these things, something broke. I had a great revelation of freedom.
Now, of course, it doesn't make any sense to blame anyone for where we end up - we only get to the places where we are by the choices we've made; but, for some reason I held her accountable. But, in saying that I realized that I made the choices I did, I chose to stall the pursuit of my dreams b/c of love. She did not hold me back, I chose to do what I did. And, it wasn't bad, at all - I don't regret our relationship at all. It was a wonderful time.

But, with this newfound understanding, I am no longer held back by the hurts of the past. I am not the product of what I've done; instead, I am Free. Christ's Blood continues to cleanse the disasters of my life.
When I was trying to figure out what the turning points in my life have been, that have lead me to this place I'm at, I remembered that "all things have passed away, and everything is made new." Theologically, it happened when I said 'yes' to Christ; so, everything that has lead me away from Glory, must have happened after that great and dreadful day (and if I wanted to, I could pinpoint the very day that turn happened). However, I'm not so sure it's the case.... completely.
He continues to make things new - I've been going through a rebirth for a couple of months now. The only way I can describe what I am experience is by comparing it to being Born Again (please forgive the blatant Christian language for a bit - if you don't understand, you'll have to read the New Testament). And last night, as I lay in my bed drifting off to sleep, I was feeling that sensation again. "I really am free. This really is a New Year!"

You see, several months ago, I made a declaration that changed how I see myself - how I live my life. In my heart, because I was frustrated and angry, I threw down my dream - I just pitched it in the dirt. That day in late July was the biggest moment in my slide. I stopped leading my life, and began living a sheep's life - not in the sense of being a Sheep to the Shepherd, but in the sense of just following the trend, what everyone else is doing. I stopped living, and just existing.....
And, since then, I thought that in order to resurrect that dream, the impossible would have to happen. I was doomed to a life w/o hope. But, you know what I discovered last night? My dream is not tied to anything outside of my Heart. Our dreams dwell within us - much like the Light of Christ. It's not connected or dependent upon circumstances or people. It's like a simple command Jesus gave to His disciples: "Fear not. Only believe." That's how simple it is to live the Dream.
I was afraid my Dream was forever lost b/c it was tied to something I couldn't control. But, it isn't at all. I AM FREE!! There is Hope!

Now, for those of you who read this, and believe that our prayers actually do affect the Hand of the Almighty, I want to encourage you to pray for yourselves, and those you know who've lost their Dream - for those who once lived Full and Free, but now dwell in the shadows of the past. Let us war together to see those we love set free from the chains of past pains. Not only is God able, but it's the very reason Jesus died - not only died, but Rose to Live forever - setting all of us free from the clutches of hell.
And, for those of us who've lost the Dream, and become afraid to let it Be again - Fear not! Only Believe!