Land of Confussion

I dedicate this song to my friend DW (anyone remember Darkwing Duck?)

I must've dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They're moving into the street.

Now did you read the news today
They say the dangers gone away
But I can see the fires still alight
There burning into the night.

There's too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Cant you see
This is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands were given
Use them and lets start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

Ooh superman where are you now
When everything's gone wrong somehow
The men of steel, the men of power
Are losing control by the hour.

This is the time
This is the place
So we look for the future
But there's not much love to go round
Tell me why, this is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands were given
Use them and lets start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

I remember long ago -
Ooh when the sun was shining
Yes and the stars were bright
All through the night
And the sound of your laughter
As I held you tight
So long ago -

I wont be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
Were not just making promises
That we know, well never keep.

Too many men
There's too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Cant you see
This is a land of confusion.

Now this is the world we live in
And these are the hands were given
Use them and lets start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for.

This is the world we live in
And these are the names were given
Stand up and lets start showing
Just where our lives are going to.
- Genesis

If you can find a recording of this song, have a listen - it's definitely worth pondering on.

Is Unity the Answer?

Today, I was a part of a very inspirational church service. The worship was pretty good, the message was passionate, and there was some meaningful ministry to wrap it up. One of the main points of today's message was that Unity is so important.
I totally agree that Unity is probably God's ultimate goal in this thing call life. However, I found myself in a personal dialogue saying to myself, "Even though we may be moving toward unity with each other, I don't think we're moving intentionally into unity with who God is."

Here's why:

At the church I attend, and at so many others in this city and country, we talk like we're so far away from God. The central theology of Christianity is that the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ has bridged the gap between "fallen man" and God. I don't think many of us actually believe that. You can tell by what we say:

"Come down, Jesus!"
"Holy Spirit, we invite you to come!"
"Oh God, I'm so empty without you."
"Jesus, help me find you... draw me closer!"

None of us really believe that we are united with God. We still live a life that says we are sinners trying to get to Heaven. And, that's just not the understanding I get when I read Scripture, or when I commune with God.

I think one of the biggest obstacles with us being in Unity with God, is the fact that we try to be in Unity with God. "Lord, what do I have to do to make you happy? What do I have to say to make me a better Christian?"
I think we hear comments like that all the time at church. The trouble is, because we can't see Jesus in the flesh, we just don't believe He's with us. We are so entrenched in the circumstances of life that we just can't see past the temporal. And, I'd say that's true for just about all of us, whether we are Christian, another religion, or no religion. I don't know anyone who has faith to believe in what isn't seen on a regular basis.
Oh, we all have moments where, somehow, we transcend mortality, and touch the Divine. We hear these great messages, whether it be from Brad Jursak or Deepak Chopra about how the Divine Life is all around us, just waiting to be discovered. But, for the most part we walk around where tanning glasses (have you ever tried to actually wear those things outside of the tanning booth? You don't see much, do you?), clinging dearly to everything and anything we can see. And, God save us from what we can't see!

So, is Unity the answer?

I'd like to think it is... but, I don't know many who are moving in that direction.

Where am I?

The other day, I had a friend ask me, "So, where's J?" I thought it was a deep philosophical question, so I started to reply about what I'd been reading in The Way of the Wizard: "I'm nowhere... I'm everywhere...." But, my friends said that's not what they were talking about - I'm not the same person they expected.
Their response really threw me for a loop. Was I acting? Am I not myself, lately? I was really quite perturbed by that response; "Why can't I be who I am right now? Why do I have to be this person that you were expecting?" is what I thought. But, my initial thoughts were not a fair assessment - they were just reaction... me choosing to be insulted.

To be honest, I don't really know where I am. On the surface, almost nothing since September has gone to plan, and it just seems to be getting worse. There is definitely something undesirable under the surface... I find myself feeling inferior to just about everyone I know. Somehow, I have lost my identity.

It's funny... I have been reading about getting past Ego, and moving toward a deeper understanding of life; however, as I am typing this, I realize that it is, in fact, my ego that is causing this identity crisis. My ego says, "I am my job; I am my duties; I am all this stuff." However, the Truth says, "I Am," plain and simple. It doesn't help that I have been spending a lot of time with ego-centred people in the last several months - we become who we hang around with.

So... where am I? I don't know. But, something I've come to realize, even as I have typed this out, is that wherever I am is OK. In fact, it is Good because Someone knows exactly where I am, and He's got it all under control. Control is not my job.